Every person who’s battling against an eating disorder including bulimia, anorexia, and binge eating, can successfully exchange dysfunctional thinking and behaviors regarding food, and food abuse, for lives full of freedom, joy, and abundance. My road to recovery was arduous at first and often felt like a never ending uphill battle so I hope strategic tidbits of information I provide will lessen your pain, prolong your endurance, and manifest hope and healing.
The day I chose to become healed I commenced with the motto, “I’m going to beat this thing or die trying!” I highlight the word chose because just as I chose to become well, I also chose to binge and purge in the first place. Bulimia is a decision, not a disease.
I specifically recall the first time I intentionally forced my finger down my throat (NOTE: I had an intention) after eating tacos, the universe warned me with a cautionary imploration, “Don’t do this! It will become a habit!” Instead of heeding to the alert I convinced myself I’d stop binging and purging in two weeks. It was only a diet.
Two weeks and fifteen pounds later I felt great! Since I was unsure of a major, I dropped out of college to explore a fashion modeling experience and failed miserably for several reasons. First, I was closed to criticism from other people about my body. I perceived as rejection. When I was told by model scouts that I had was too short for runway but still had potential to be an Elite model, I utilized the control I had over food in exchange for where I lacked identity and character to lose weight in a healthy way. The problem was once I realized I wanted to stop the binge purge process I was too deep in denial to turn back. I couldn’t stop for fear of being exposed as a fraud. It took two weeks to develop a habit and fifteen years to discontinue a cycle.
Eating disorders affect more than the person who is being deceived by it; it also affects family and loved one’s. By clicking my Twitter link, you will be directed to a short film featuring Elle Fanning which provides a more explicit understanding of how people with eating disorders perceive the world.
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